morning pages for friday september 28 2018

Thank God I’m alive! This is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it. Therefore I will not spend my day in anger, bitterness, resentment and self-pity.

right out of the gate i have no where to go and im searching and keep looking and i want to write better i want to write big but i need to work at it more slowly in sync and in step to the beat of the world and things around me because its difficult to write bigger when all you do is stay in the little corner in your little office and pretend to see the bigger picture when my view is very limited and i have to be honest with you its hard to make it all up but i try and will continue to try anyway no matter what. I will write and i’ll write lots of bad writing until all the bad writing is out of me and then the only thing left is to write what is good and wholesome and great only the good words will be left to come out and play like a child who gets pushed on the swing the first time the introductory entrance into flight and no where in the world is that complete and worthwhile to see the end in sight but it doesnt really matter in the big scheme of things. yesterday i was looking at the earth and how it relates to the our universe the milky way and then thats when i realized that i would have be drinking a very large milky way shake before i sucked up earth. That’s how big it is and how small we are and to think on that little dot we have these big problems and i wonder how is that possible to have large problems on a little dot but we manage to do this all the time everyday of our lives i think we call it making a milky way out of the earth or maybe it has to do with molehills and mountains but its the same thing but we do i don’t mean to minimize our problems but it flows out of me and into everyone else around me and that is why i need to control my attitude and what i’m doing no matter what and we can see each other clearly no matter how hard we work at being invisible and i think i’m to dis-jointed to bring anything together in a whole. i cant imagine writing a novel where the whole thing would make sense again to visualize the importance of being together in all of the pages and now that i have something i tend not to use it but why i always want it anyways im pretty sure i need a collection of it all to look good on the outside and that is pure vanity why should i bother if thats what all of this amounts to anyways can’t we all be happy and get along? apparently not otherwise we wouldnt be democrats and republicans we would just be people and nothing more nothing less holding hands and putting band-aids onto each other as we walk in pain in this world hoping we can love.

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